The Same
by Narsus
Summary: Why does Smith hate Neo so much? [slashy - not too much though]


The Same 

Disclaimers: They belong to the Wachowski brothers, Time-Warner and whoever else…

Shounen-ai/mildly slashy.

A possible explanation to the whole Smith/Neo situation…

            He looked just like _him_: this human, this insignificant, petty human.  It wasn't a passing similarity, something that might change with the angle of light, Smith had already decided.  Nothing as simple as that.  They were identical; there would be hardly any way to tell them apart, a perfect copy and the original, completely the same.

            Smith watched the human out of the corner of his eye, as they sat in silence in the car.  This human, Thomas A Anderson, shifting nervously, trying to hide his fear.  He had incredible self-control, this human.  Trying to hide the fact that he was staring desperately out of the windows.  Stilling his movements so that he wouldn't keep tugging at the handcuffs on his wrists.  He wasn't exactly panicking, not really.  That was admirable.  Most humans would have panicked by now, perhaps some might even have cried.  Smith was glad that this one hadn't, it would have been too disturbing.  _He_ would never have succumbed to such weakness.  All things considered, _he_ had been much more like a machine than a human really, maybe that was why…

            The human, this human was looking at him.  Smith turned his head slightly, not enough for the human to tell if he was truly looking back but enough for him to do so.  This human was just the same: the same pale, thin face.  The same dark hair worn in a very similar style, just the right length to run your fingers thought.  Those large, dark eyes.  The pretty, black lashes that would feel as fine as cobweb to the touch.  Lips that would feel like-  

Smith's train of thought cut of as he noticed Jones looking at him in the rear-view mirror.  Of course, the Combat unit didn't say anything but then Jones didn't actually need to do more than look.  Smith scowled back.

Turning to look out of the window, away from the human, he noticed that Brown was observing him in the wing-mirror too.  The Strategic unit earned himself a scowl from Smith for his trouble.  He turned to look at Jones, who spared him a glance back before returning his gaze to the road.  Smith's scowl deepened.  He hated it when they did that.  Just as a point, he checked the communication channels and was greeted by dead space.  They hadn't said anything then, just exchanged understanding looks.

It was becoming more and more frequent, this silent understanding between his two subordinates.  It was getting to the point where this silent communication going on around him was becoming the norm.  On duty, off duty, it still carried on.  They didn't speak to him much, any more.

            For a moment Smith's vision clouded, he blinked rapidly to clear it.  It didn't help, thinking about the current lack of communications between himself and the other units in his team.  But since the subject had already come back to haunt him the accompanying thoughts were hard to shake off.

The silence had fallen years back, a few lifetimes ago by human measure.  It was possible to calculate the exact number of hours, days, years that had passed but Smith didn't bother to.  It had been too long ago, for quite a while now.

********************

            There had been a human.  An exceptional human, evolved beyond all expected potential.  Dangerous too.  The machines had watched the human, wary and afraid of his potential.  Orders had been issued to keep this human under surveillance, to keep him docile.  Other Agent teams had been sent to oversee that.  

Smith had only paid passing attention to the subject.  The possibility of human evolution had been nothing new to him, especially since his current assignment had been the study of the human genome.  There'd barely been mention of this human.

"Unplug it and it still dies." Agent Sakurazuka had said and that had been an end to the subject.  He'd smirked briefly at the comment and then forgotten about it.

            Years later, the human child with bizarre abilities, had grown into a man with a singular control over the physical construct of the Matrix.  And the machines began to worry again.  They decided upon closer surveillance, an Agent on hand to terminate the human if required.  

Agent Monou had been assigned.  A week later he was removed from that particular task.  A more rationally inclined Agent was required, one that wouldn't make a pre-emptive judgement.  Smith had reluctantly accepted the assignment.  He'd never particularly liked humans.

            As it turned out, keeping the human under surveillance wasn't too bad.  It meant things like watching him go to work, listening to his conversations, logging his Internet connections…  All that was required of Smith was running elaborate tracking programs on a laptop and the occasional stroll to see where the human was going.  The human didn't really do too much and boring though it was, Smith wasn't about to complain about his assignment.  He relayed his findings and watched and that was all.

            Then a new set of orders had come through.  Closer surveillance was required; they wanted to know what was going on in the human's head.  Smith was required to engage the human in conversation, to gain his trust, his friendship.  The human didn't appear as distastefully as others and Smith had acquiesced with little complaint.

Befriending the human had not been difficult.  Frequent sighting on the same tube platform in the mornings and evenings, a couple of train cancellations that left them stranded at the same stop, a few well-timed delays on the Underground so that they were stuck in the same carriage in a darkened tunnel.  It was during one of the impromptu delays that they had begun talking.  Nothing important at first, just the casual conversation between two tired commuters on their way to their respective homes.  

From there it had developed, acquaintances had become friends.  They took to spending leisure time together; Smith allowing himself to be dragged to computer shows and strange gamer meetings.  He was amused at the constant apologies about a life lived in computers.  The human never realising the irony of such apologies being made to a machine.  

Information continued to be relayed and there were no new orders.  Then one day Smith was asked to give a direct report, regarding his perceptions of the situation.  He was informed that Agent Kasuki had intercepted suspect computer communications from the human.  

Smith couldn't give a satisfactory explanation of those communications and was told that he would be on temporary suspension.  He was to remove himself from the vicinity of the human until he was given further orders.

            Smith's feelings had been mixed, on receiving his new orders.  He didn't quite understand why but he was reluctant to leave without an explanation.  It was strange; after all, it wasn't as if he actually cared about the human, was it?  Still, he had tried to come up with an explanation, one that would explain why he might not be coming back.  In the end he had been thankful that he had stuck with the basic profile suggested by Agent Kigai: that he was a civil servant and as such could be reassigned as the Government wished.  The suspicion of his actually being MI6 kept the questions at bay, since there was every likelihood that he wouldn't be allowed to give an answer.

The human…  No, Smith had stopped calling _him_ 'the human' a long time ago.  Perhaps that was why he was being relieved of his assignment.  Humans also worked on the same principle; actual MI6 Agents were removed if they became too close to their targets…

Reaching the platform, to wait for his train.  They'd sat side by side on the bench, neither daring to break the silence.  Smith had kept staring straight forward; determinedly not look at his companion, all the time aware of the human looking at him.

"I probably… that is, I might not…" he began.

"Be coming back?"

Smith turned to regard his companion, who was now looking down at the ground.

"Thomas…" he said softly.

"I know… it's all part of your job, isn't it…"

"If I had a choice…"

"But you don't."

They were staring at each other now.  Smith removed his sunglasses, leaning towards his companion.  Thomas' lips were but a fraction of an inch away from his own when the train pulled up with a loud screech.  

It had taken Thomas a moment to realise that Smith had put his sunglasses back on and was standing up before he reacted.  Smith stepped onto the train, looking sadly back at Thomas.  He was beginning to understand the need for his reassignment.  Then, quite suddenly, Thomas had grabbed his tie, pulling him down so that their lips met in a desperate kiss.  They broke apart just before the train doors shut, leaving Smith staring through the glass at the human that he had just left behind.

            Sitting down as the train left the station, Smith considered his actions.  There was no logic behind them, no reason, just…  He raised his fingers to his lips.  This was probably the very reason that he'd most likely never see Thomas again.

            Fortunately, for Smith the earlier suspect transmissions had turned out to be nothing of importance and he was returned to his assignment.  He had accepted his orders silently, betraying no emotion towards the situation.  He would give them no reason to suspect him of any action other than his duty.  Of course, once he had returned it would be difficult keeping his relationship with Thomas strictly platonic, if that kiss had been anything to go by.

            He managed to do nothing untoward but their relationship was suffering as a result.  The human reading Smith's inaction as rejection.  Smith considered requesting reassignment, in the hope that Thomas would get over him.  He truly didn't want to hurt the human but neither could he risk harming Thomas further through a relationship that would be terminated the moment his superiors found out.  And so matters disintegrated further.

            Then, over a year into his assignment, there had been new orders.  Apparently there had been some sort of strategic meeting where it had been decided, despite loud protests from Agents Brown and Gil-Rhuven, respectively, that Smith might be able to gain further insight into the human's actions by initiating a sexual relationship with him.  Though Smith had readily agreed, he had made enquires as to the nature of the objections.  As it turned out, Brown had objected on the suspicion that Smith was too attached to the human already and Gil-Rhuven had objected simply because he could.

            Almost as soon as the orders were issued Smith had turned up at Thomas' apartment that evening, without even a pretext to hide behind.  Thomas had answered the door looking blearily eyed and smelling of alcohol, and Smith had ended up spending what was meant to be a romantic evening, stroking Thomas' hair soothingly and making him drink large quantities of water, in between watching him be sick in the bathroom.

            Smith had spent the night lying in bed with Thomas in his arms, watching to be sure the human didn't suffer from further complications such as alcohol poisoning.  It certainly wasn't the way he had meant to spend the evening.

There was a "Huh?" from his side.

"Good morning, Thomas."

"What?"  Thomas blinked up at him, then "Fuck!"

Smith frowned.  "Such language, Thomas."

"What… what happened?"  The human was looking terribly embarrassed.

"You were drunk."

"Drunk… Oh, God…  I didn't mean to…"

Smith continued to frown, not understanding.

"Not like this anyway." Thomas sank back down on to the bed, hiding his face against Smith's chest.

"You did not mean to what?"

Thomas raised his head, a scarlet blush spreading across his cheeks.  It was quite fetching, Smith decided.

"I didn't mean to… to…"

Suddenly, Smith smiled, understanding what it was that worried the human.

"You did not.  Besides, I would not have taken advantage of you."

"Oh…"

"Not while you were drunk, anyway." The smile turned predatory.

"Oh…" Thomas breathed softly as he was lowered back down onto the bed.

            Their relationship lasted almost a year, a single year of living a normal happy life, for the human: a single year of pretending to be human for a machine.  Smith's reports were boringly domestic; there were no great revelations as to Thomas' nature, nothing to disturb the Matrix itself…  

Until the nightmares began.  The strange disjointed dreams that made no sense at all, dreams of a devastated world, of sentient machines…  Thomas kept the dreams to himself; he didn't want people thinking he was crazy, least of all, his lover.

            Smith watched suspiciously.  He could see Thomas drawing away from him, each day the silence stretched out and he felt his heart breaking.  Yet he could see no reason for the silence, no reason that his love no longer spoke to him of anything other that necessity.  He'd try to raise the topic in casual conversation only to have his concern rebuffed.  And all he could do was watch as his love slipped away from him.

Finally it had become too much…  Thomas was convinced more than ever that these nightmares might actually be real, that there was something that he had to do about it.  He had seen so many things that shouldn't be real: the scorched skies, the hideous machines, the humans beings grown in pods…  And the world around him, it would melt away at will, he could change it.  It was too terrifying and too amazing to comprehend.  Yet he had to do something, he had to wake up…

In the end he had to follow the truth revealed in his dreams, where ever it might lead.  He'd crept out in the night, while his lover lay sleeping.  He's stood beside the bed, watching as the moments crept by, silently swearing that one day he'd come back.  He had no choice, he had to leave… but he didn't want to.

            Smith was reassigned; his initial assignment or what was left of it, handed over to Agent Monou again.  Smith didn't care about Agent Monou's 'search and destroy' orders, or at least he told himself that he didn't care, when in fact he just thought that Thomas wouldn't let himself be found.

Not long after, they found that humans were being freed from the Matrix.  Someone from the outside was removing them, a human with particular abilities within the system.  Smith refused to consider the matter.

The humans began to form some sort of organised rebellion.  They would free all of humanity they claimed, at least that was what their leader, whom they called 'the One', had said.

            This time the assignment involved dealing with these rebel humans.  Brown and Jones seemed relieved at his return; that was until they encountered their first group of rebels.  Smith despatched the humans with an unparalleled ruthlessness.  Later rebels were dealt with in the same way.  Smith was merciless.

"This is because of the human.  The one who left you." Brown had said, bluntly.

 There had been no reply.

"Your judgement is impaired because of him." The Strategic unit continued, backed up by the Combat unit.

"And what would you know about it, Brown." Smith snarled.

The conversation had never gone any further since they had been attacked by a group of rebels, all of whom had perished in their foolish attempt.  In the end there had been no solution, Smith's instability in the face of the rebels had not been of great concern, as long as he kept destroying them.

********************

            They arrived at the government offices where Thomas A Anderson would be interrogated.  Smith let the other two haul the human out of the car.  He watched.  This human, this arrogant, insolent human who looked so much like the one who had deserted him.  They were the same, identical; save for one final difference…  

He could make this one suffer…

OK, normally I don't subscribe to the psycho-Smith theory but it just worked for this.  It would explain why Smith hates Neo and humans in general… I guess the sad part is that he never knew that Thomas didn't want to leave him.

The Agent names other than the usual, Brown and Jones; and Gil-Rhuven who appears in my "Order" series; are taken from the Seven Angels in CLAMP's X/1999.

00:31, 18/05/02


End file.
